Holiday musings: Getting by with a little help from friends

Holidays can be an especially poignant time, depending upon where you are in your journey to parenthood. The season is geared towards babies, kids, and families. It seems everywhere you turn are boisterous reminders of the babies we long to arrive, ache to cuddle, or who remain a distant dream. If you are blessed with a baby on the way or your baby has arrived, this can be a season of great anticipation and joy.  If on the other hand, you are still waiting for baby, it can be a season of sadness and loneliness.

If you have made the “crossover” from “getting to baby” to “having your baby,” you can offer sensitive and timely support for friends and family still working through infertility options, waiting for an adoption referral, or struggling with the decision to remain childfree.

The best gift is to simply be there for your friend, to share their sorrow and struggle. Take them out for an evening or a day to do something fun, not centered on children and families.  If you live near a big city, check out Goldstar for discount theater and event tickets. Groupon or one of the other crowd-sourcing sites, in addition to restaurants, have lots of pampering options like massage and manicures. A Groupon Gift Card will let your giftee select something close to home or something she has always wanted to do but hasn’t had the time or money to make the leap.

If you’re looking for something tangible to say, “I know how you feel,” take a look at Cafe Press and Zazzle, where someone has created a gift or a store for just about every “conceivable” idea. Search donor, surrogate, infertility, gay dads, and TTC (trying to concieve). Jennifer and I still consider ourselves Infertility Warriors.  And hoping this time is the charm makes a great stocking stuff for the boxer wearer in your life.

Finally, Etsy is where you will find all things handmade and heartfelt.  Unique illustrated calendars, a chunky knit wrap, vintage ornaments, paper goods, jewelry, housewares, and so much more. For friends who are already on the path to parenthood through surrogacy or adoption, I like this tile or this one for a single parent.

The holidays can be bittersweet. A funny gift or exhilarating experience can help make this season a little sweeter if completion of your or your friends’ family is not quite “wrapped up.”

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