Every Child Deserves a Family

Posted on April 10, 2012 by admin

There is much emphasis being placed on the gay rights debate with each passing day. We see it all around us in the political and policy debates. “Should gay men and women be able to openly serve in our military?” “Should our laws be redefined to recognize gay marriage?” “Should gay couples have equal opportunities to adopt children?” There are a number of arguments coming from critics and advocates of the LGBT cause and these arguments warrant a closer examination.

It seems that the number one argument to which most naysayers default is, “a child needs both a mother AND a father to develop into a stable, emotionally secure, productive member of society.” Fair enough, but has anybody ever offered-up any hard evidence to support this claim? Furthermore, how many single mothers and fathers are out there raising bright, healthy, emotionally stable children all on their own? Has anybody ever asked a child of a gay couple about his or her upbringing?

In January, we wrote about the Every Child Deserves a Family Act. Senator Gillibrand introduced the Act on November 1st, 2011. This act would prohibit any entity that receives federal assistance and is involved in adoption or foster care placements from discriminating against prospective adoptive or foster parents solely on the basis of their sexual orientation, gender identity, or marital status.

And then in late January, early February, the interwebs were taken by storm by an intelligent and well-spoken young man named Zach Wahls who spoke to the Iowa House of Representatives as an example of a child/young adult having been raised by lesbian parents.

Whether or not you’ve seen this video, its’ message bears cause for repeating. Zach Wahls, who was raised by a lesbian couple, felt compelled to share his testimony about what a terrific job his mothers have done in raising him during a public forum on the House Joint Resolution 6 in the Iowa House of Representatives. Zach reveals that when his biological mother was artificially inseminated, his grandparents were all but pleased; however, it wouldn’t be long until “’they broke down as soon as they witnessed my infantile cuteness.” Zach goes on to say that over the years, his family functioned as any “normal” family does – “we go to church, eat dinner, and go on vacation together, and, yes, sometimes we even fight.” As a student at the University of Iowa, Zach says that the issue of gay marriage and “can gays raise kids?” often times comes up in his classes. Zach’s response is a resounding “yes.” He explains that he is a testament to the fact that gay couples can indeed raise good, productive, and emotionally stable kids. After listing all of his academic, extra-curricular, and professional accomplishments, Zach – a seemingly polite, respectful, intelligent, and charismatic young man – raises one of his most powerful points to the chairman overseeing the deliberations – “If I were your son, mister chairman, I believe I’d make you very proud.” Indeed you would, Zach.

Wahls goes on to explain that he is “not much different” than the children of those listening to his story, and that his family is also, “not much different” than their families. He adequately and eloquently relates that family cannot possibly be defined by what the government says it should be. Instead, “family comes from the commitment we make to each other.” This revelation propels us to the realization that not only are children a blessing to the world, but so too are loving, attentive parents – no matter what their gender or orientation – who foster commitment and caring within their homes.

To further the goal of Every Child Deserves a Family Act, we encourage you to write to the U.S. Senators and ask them to support this important legislation. Here is one example of a publicly shared letter of support, and another.

Gay Couples Adoption Increases

Posted on March 29, 2012 by admin

Though there are no current reliable gay adoption statistics for America, there are however, statistics on children in gay homes. In 1976, there were between 300,000 to 500,000 gay and lesbian biological parents. In 1990, 6 to 14 million children had at least one gay or lesbian parent. Between 8 and 10 million children were being raised in gay and lesbian households.

In 1999, approximately 547,000 children in foster care in the US, 117,000 legally free for adoption. There were only qualified adoptive families available for only twenty percent of them. Ten percent of the US population is homosexual, meaning a lot of couples whose biological resources for children are reduced are currently prevented from filling in the adoption gap.

As reported on the 2000 Census, about 65,000 children lived with same sex parents. In 2012, 110,000 live with gay parents. That’s over a 100% increase. Of the total amount of children in U.S. households, less than 1% live with same-sex parents. Therefore, children with same-sex parents are still very much a minority.

However, even though the children with same-sex parents are still part of the minority, they aren’t any less happy or liable to turn out gay as any other child with heterosexual parents. Studies show that children with same-sex parents do not necessarily have differences in self-esteem, gender identity, or emotional problems from children growing up in heterosexual parent homes. These well-adjusted children are actually more likely to grow into successful independent adults because of the support they receive from their gay parents.

As time moves forward we have seen the rise in gay equality rights, adoption rights and marriage rights become forefront issues within our society. More and more people are striving for equality for gays, and hoping that more children will be given the opportunity to have a loving family to support them. It’s unfortunate that too many states are still putting up a fuss about gay families and the equality they deserve, that it is actually hurting the children who are just waiting to be adopted.

Although it is hard to keep tabs on the amount of adoptions by same-sex couples because of their privacy to not face discrimination, we have still been able to see the acceptance and amount of families grow substantially over time. Hopefully with this sense of awareness and determination from the LGBT community as well as advocates, we will see an even larger increase in LGBT families with the years to come.

Study: Same-Sex Parents Raise Well-Adjusted Kids

The Gay Revolution in America

Posted on March 20, 2012 by admin

No problem in United states historical past has shifted quicker than “gay rights”–an already old phrase for complete and equivalent involvement and popularity of gay men and ladies in United states life. The work is not completed, of course, but what took dark-colored People in the united states more than a 100 decades, gays have done in two or three decades (thanks in a big way to shades of dark-colored, who developed the design for this type of public revolution). We still dispute about it, but the whole array of controversy has shifted eventually left.

Kids mature these days with gay buddies, gay mother and father, gay mother and father of buddies and gay buddies of mother and father. If only shades of dark-colored and white wines were as thoroughly combined together in group as gays and straights are. Kids are also revealed regularly to an amusement lifestyle in which gays are not merely recognized but in some methods major. Our group has become more recognizing of the LBT household associates and have even started to involve gay toss associates in various TV reveals, such as Contemporary Family, Joy, and many others. The fast activity for gay-rights has confirmed that individuals will deal with for their right to be a totally free United states, to communicate themselves as they so select provided that they are not injuring anybody, to have a household and to sign up similarly in our group.

When oppositions of gay privileges discuss ominously about a “gay plan,” they are not erroneous. There has been plans in the feeling of a long-term technique, not as opposed to the properly plotted technique of Thurgood Marshall and others in the city privileges activity that completed official racial segregation.

Since then The united states has come a lengthy way in patience and popularity of the LGBT group and household associates. Our group has started to identify and legalize gay weddings, gay surrogacy, gay adopting, and IVF for gay partners. This activity is no little problem though; it is still being conducted for and discussed through many of the governmental commanders and many associates of the United states group.

The youthful decades have started up with this activity and in convert has helped from it. They are by far much more knowing, resistant and recognizing of gays and gay household associates. Many youngsters are elevated by gay or lesbian mother and father and have seen first-hand the battles and triumphs their mother and father have gone through. The youthful decades are our upcoming, if we keep motivate them to be themselves, take individuals for who they are and not their lovemaking positioning, then it there really is no informing where we will be with regards to gay privileges in 20 or so decades. We can only wish we are in a much more relaxing and recognizing community.

“The Quiet Gay Revolution-Time”, Time Journal US, Goal 19, 2012

Gay Couples Preparing for Adoption

Posted on March 15, 2012 by admin

The step of preparing to apply for adoption is not at all about just completing the forms. There are much smaller things that you can do to help you feel more prepared and confident for bringing a child into your home. These ideas are not only useful but they will also help speed up the entire adoption process from initial application to being Approved Adopters.

Get involved in as much reading about the subject as possible.
Look for voluntary work in child care, such as play groups or nurseries, scouts, guides.
Join and interact with adoption support groups, they are a massive resource.

Gaining additional childcare experience is only useful if you have no valid childcare experience and if the experience you are gaining is age appropriate to the age of the children you wish to adopt. This in itself is daunting and a real test of your commitment. How can Social Services be expected to hand over any children to someone without any child care experience? Once you do apply, if the Social Worker feels you have any shortfalls in experience they will advise you accordingly.

There are some hurdles to all of this of course. Being gay can bring up large amounts of discrimination when applying to a local nursery to do volunteer work. Some people have a clouded public perception of many adults, gay or not. There’s also the question of opportunity. If you have no local resources to give you experience or no family or friends then it is really hard to gain that experience. Try to be as flexible as possible though but if gaining experience is literally impossible then that can’t be helped.

You will be required to undergo a CRB check. This is fairly standard and to be expected, if partnered you will both be required to take part in this and it is funded by the Adoption Agency if at that stage you have already engaged with them. A further CRB check will be required anyway as part of the adoption process.

Don’t feel you have to wait until you are approved adopters before you join a supportive adoption organization. They accept applicants who are prospective adopters and have sections of their forums separated for reasons of privacy. General areas available to all, sections for prospective only and sections for approved and those that have placements. Our advice to anyone we meet who are starting on this journey is to join these as soon as possible and be as active in them as you can. They will make the entire process easier for you in the long run.

To get more information and ideas for preparing for adoption read our book Getting To Baby.

Top 5 Infertility Myths & Facts

Posted on March 6, 2012 by admin

1. MYTH: Infertility is a woman’s problem.

FACT: Approximately 40 percent of infertility is due to female factors, 40 percent is due to male factors. The remaining 20% of cases are either a result of both partners or for unknown reasons.Consequently, both men and women should be evaluated.

Male infertility factors include:

Azoospermia (no sperm cells are produced) and oligospermia (few sperm cells are produced).
Malformed sperm cells
A genetic disease such as cystic fibrosis or a chromosomal abnormality.

Female infertility factors include ;

Ovulation disorders
Blocked fallopian tubes, which can occur when a woman has had pelvic inflammatory disease or endometriosis
Congenital anomalies involving the structure of the uterus and uterine fibroids

2. MYTH: Most people get pregnant very easily

FACT: Infertility affects 7.3 million people of childbearing age in the United States — about 10-15 percent of the reproductive-age population, according to the Centers for Disease Control.

3. MYTH: It’s all psychological; People just need to relax and they’ll get pregnant.

FACT: Infertility is a medical condition of the reproductive system. Stress can result from struggles with infertility, not cause it.

4. MYTH: After people adopt a baby they usually get pregnant

FACT: Studies reveal that the rate for achieving pregnancy after adopting is the same as for those who do not adopt.

5. MYTH: Adoption is the only ethical solution to infertility: it’s a lot cheaper and easier than medical treatment, and there are so many babies who need homes.

FACT: “The biological urge to have children is quite strong,” says Dr. Samuel Pang, Medical Director at the Reproductive Science Center (RSC) of New England, “The truth is that most patients we treat for infertility exhaust their options for medical treatment prior to considering adoption.” Contemporary adoption options have changed, and adoption can be more costly and time-consuming than expected. It is, however, still possible to adopt a healthy baby.

For more information on fertility and your journey to getting to your baby, our book Getting to Baby is a great resource of information and positivity to help you through this process.

Why Are We Rejecting Parents When So Many Children Need a Family?

Posted on March 1, 2012 by admin

Politicians love to say it. Child-welfare professionals work mightily to practice it. American laws and practices promote its essential truth: every boy and girl deserves to live in a permanent, loving family.

Yet tens of thousands of children in the U.S. spend their lives in temporary (i.e., foster) care, unable to return to their original families and without great prospects for being adopted into new ones. At the same time, the number of gays and lesbians becoming adoptive parents increases daily. This reality has raised hopes throughout our country among children’s advocates who see an underutilized supply of prospective mothers and fathers for so-called “waiting children.”

Across the United States, however, some conservative interest groups and politicians have worked in recent years to implement laws and policies that would prevent lesbians and gay men from providing homes for these boys and girls, and a few such efforts have been successful. The good news is that the research on this subject is almost unanimously one-sided — that is, it shows that non-heterosexuals make good parents, and their children do well.

The bad news is that proponents of such measures are continuing to formulate legal and procedural strategies to accomplish their goal. Some of the activists engaged in the gays-shouldn’t-be-parents campaign acknowledge that they believe non-heterosexuals are problematic simply because of who they are. But most maintain, at least publicly, that they are motivated primarily by a desire to do what’s best for the kids who need families.

That is why a broad range of professional organizations — including the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Association of Family Physicians, the National Association of Social Workers and the Child Welfare League of America — has come to the same conclusion as they have at the Adoption Institute. These are not fringe groups that would put kids at risk, but just the opposite. The common threads among all of the organizations listed here is that we are in the mainstream and we all work, based on the best available information, for the welfare of children. And we all agree that allowing adoption by qualified gay men and lesbians furthers that objective.

The bottom line is simple: no state can effectively prevent lesbians or gay men from becoming mothers or fathers, because they can do so in other ways — such as surrogacy and insemination — or by moving somewhere that permits them to foster or adopt children. So all a state can accomplish if it imposes restrictions, as Arkansas tried to do and as Utah and Mississippi still do, is to shrink the pool of prospective parents and, as a result, decrease the odds that children in its custody will ever receive the benefits of living in permanent, successful families.

Children with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Parents

Posted on February 2, 2012 by admin

“People are like fingers, all different. But in the end they are still fingers”. –unknown

The AACAP (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) is the leading national professional medical association dedicated to treating and improving the quality of life for children, adolescents, and families affected by these disorders. In one of their Facts for Families newsletters, “Children with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Parents” they state that “millions of children in the United States have lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender (LGBT) parents. Some children of LGBT parents were conceived in heterosexual marriages or relationships. An increasing number of LGBT parents have conceived children and/or raised them from birth, either as single parents or in ongoing committed relationships. This can occur through adoption, alternative insemination, surrogate or foster parenting. A small number of states currently have laws supportive of LGBT couple adoption”.

The ACLU of Virginia recently released a new study: New Study: Children of LGBT Parents Are Typical. The leading question to the study asked if the “frequently stated reasons for state laws prohibiting the adoption of children by same-sex parents is that children fare better in households with married heterosexual parents. But do scientific studies bear this out? The answer is no, and the evidence continues to mount in favor of this conclusion.”

Below is a partial summary of the study’s findings, as written by Elizabeth Wong, Associate Director of the ACLU, Virgina:

In 1990, 1 in 5 lesbian couples and 1 in 20 gay couples were raising children. Over the last 20 years, those numbers have increased to 1 in 3 lesbian couples and 1 in 5 gay couples. As more gay and lesbian couples become parents, and the children of those couples grow up, more studies are being conducted to examine the effects of the sexual orientation of parents on their children.

In a study published in this month’s issue of the journal Applied Developmental Science, researchers at the University of Virginia and George Washington University concluded that, consistent with earlier studies, children of same-sex couples have the same behavioral adjustment patterns as children of heterosexual couples.

Moreover, the UVA and GWU researchers found that the children of gay or lesbian parents in the study showed typical gender development, regardless of family type. Most boys, whether of same-sex couples or heterosexual couples, acted much in the same way as similarly aged boys. And the girls of same-sex or heterosexual couples acted much in the same way as similarly aged girls.

In another study, published in early June in the journal Pediatrics, researchers found that children of lesbian couples grew up better adjusted and were rated higher in social and academic competence than their peers. They also showed less inappropriate aggressive behavior and were better at following rules than their counterparts. (See U.S. National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study.)

Both studies conclude that the time and energy parents invest in parenting is what matters, not their sexual orientation.

Raising children in a LGBT household

Posted on January 24, 2012 by admin

Although research shows that children with gay and lesbian parents are just as well adjusted as children with heterosexual parents, they can face some additional challenges. This is just inevitable of the unfortunate outcomes of our society. Some LGBT families face discrimination in their communities and children may be teased or bullied by peers. Parents can help their children cope with these pressures in the following ways:

Prepare your child to handle questions and comments about their background or family.
Allow for open communication and discussions that are appropriate to your child’s age and level of maturity.
Help your child come up with and practice appropriate responses to teasing or mean remarks.
Use books, Web sites and movies that show children in LGBT families.
Consider having a support network for your child (For example, having your child meet other children with gay parents.)
Consider living in a community where diversity is more accepted.
Like all children, most children with LGBT parents will have both good and bad times. They are not more likely than children of heterosexual parents to develop emotional or behavioral problems. If LGBT parents have questions or concerns about their child, they should consider a consultation with a qualified mental health professional.

Some people may wonder, what effect does having LGBT parents have on children? In fact the effects of children with LGBT parents are not that much different than children with heterosexual parents. Sometimes people are concerned that children being raised by a gay parent will need extra emotional support or face unique social stressors. Current research shows that children with gay and lesbian parents do not differ from children with heterosexual parents in their emotional development or in their relationships with peers and adults. It is important for parents to understand that it is the quality of the parent/child relationship and not the parent’s sexual orientation that has an effect on a child’s development. Research has shown that in contrast to common beliefs, children of lesbian, gay, or transgender parents:

Are not more likely to be gay than children with heterosexual parents.
Are not more likely to be sexually abused.
Do not show differences in whether they think of themselves as male or female (gender identity).
Do not show differences in their male and female behaviors (gender role behavior).

Like all children, most children with LGBT parents will have both good and bad times. They are not more likely than children of heterosexual parents to develop emotional or behavioral problems. If LGBT parents have questions or concerns about their child, they should consider a consultation with a qualified mental health professional.

Love that makes a Family – Equality for all 2012

Posted on January 13, 2012 by admin

Recently, Senator Gillibrand introduced the Every Child Deserves a Family Act on November 1^st, 2011. This act would prohibits any entity that receives federal assistance and is involved in adoption or foster care placements from discriminating against prospective adoptive or foster parents solely on the basis of their sexual orientation, gender identity, or marital status. One of their main reasons for introducing this act is to be able to increase the number of foster and adoptive placements available to children in the foster care system. Currently there are an estimated 400,000 children in the U.S. foster care system, and more than 107,000 children currently waiting to be adopted, but Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender (LGBT) couples or individuals who want to adopt or become foster parents still face discrimination in more than 30 states. (Adoption Institute; Evan B. Donaldson)

We have waited a very long time as an LGBT community waiting for the day that we could enjoy the rights that every individual deserves, a loving family, a family unit with children. We want what every adoptive parent or foster parent wants, for the children to have a safe and comforting home to live in. Just because of our Sexual orientation should not mean that our children will be raised any differently than that of any other couple. 18 million people saw proof of that when Zach Wahls stood up for marriage equality on behalf of his family in front of the Iowa State Legislature. His speech was one of the most heartfelt descriptions of what really makes up a family, love. He points out the fact that his being just because he was raised by lesbians did not mean his future was in jeopardy, it meant that he had a fighting chance. This same fighting chance every child deserves in this world, and that is to strive to become the most successful adult and human being that you possibly can be. Zach Wahls is just one child, or rather adult, that experienced the love that his family had to offer, and it made him the person that he is today.

So what do these two things have in common; Zach Wahls and his fight for Equal Marriage and the new Every Child Deserves a Family Act? Equality and love. These two pieces are very important parts of the jigsaw puzzle that the LGBT Community has been striving for years, and that my friends is equality. The ability to have the right to love whom we please, marry whom we please, have a family with whom we please, and live in peace the way we please. When the world can see that our wants and needs are the same as everyone else, they will truly be able to say we have equality for all.

All we can do is hope that with the arrival of 2012, this will be the year for change. This will be the year we spread equality can be reached for all. Our hope is that the world will finally understand that the LGBT community is growing and we are pulling together like never before to prove that LOVE is what makes up a family. This is not a simple notion of what “should be”, but rather something that is much more profound than that, something everyone deserves; Love. For Love, there is no “alternative family”. There is simply no alternative for love.

Why isn’t Gay Marriage an Issue in Archie Comics?

Posted on January 6, 2012 by admin

To be honest, I haven’t paid a great deal of attention to Archie comics for years. There was a time in my younger years when a book would come into my possession and I would enjoy diving into the simplistic world of Archie and the gang. In those days, the sense that Archie had much to do with the real world was minimal, and even though there were ‘morals’ to some of the stories, it was simply fun to dive in to the world where a friend named Jughead wore a crown and life for Archie was the not-so-simple choice between Betty and Veronica. In those days I didn’t ever consider that same-sex marriage would ever come to Riverdale.

CNN recently reported that in one of the upcoming issues of Archie comics looking at possible futures for Archie and the gang, a marriage between two male friends of the crew will take place. This development comes only one year after the introduction of the first gay character to the comic. Not only is the marriage between gay characters, but one is a veteran, and they are a mixed-race couple. I can’t think of a better scenario to open the eyes of some readers than this comic may offer.

While I have not read the comic in the last year since the addition of the gay character, the article notes that one of the defining characteristics of the addition is that his sexuality has been known but not focal to the storyline. This is such an important part of changing public perceptions of gay and lesbian relationships, they are not treated as different or defined by their sexual orientation. If it is true that the Archie comic has blended this new character in as a regular friend who is simply part of the Archie’s circle, I applaud the writers who have created an effective sense of reality in the fantasy world that Archie and his friends inhabit. I may have to pick up a new comic in the coming weeks.